'Friendship Isn’t a Luxury': Devon's 'Coach Ben' Talks Men’s Mental Health, Loneliness and the 30-Day Challenge that's Changing Lives

As International Men’s Day shines a spotlight on men’s wellbeing, Kingsbridge life coach Coach Ben, founder of Invested Friends, says the conversation around men’s mental health needs a fundamental shift - from silent struggle to real, in-person connection.

Coach Ben, who works primarily with men aged 30 - 50 but supports all ages, has observed a pattern throughout his coaching career: many men are trying to live up to stereotypical ideals of masculinity, yet when they start to struggle, they often have no idea where to turn.

“Men aren't struggling with strength or resilience they're struggling with connection,” he explains. “We’ve forgotten how to build friendships, how to maintain them, or even where to go to find them.”

This month, to coincide with Men’s Mental Health Month, Coach Ben and 25 members of the Invested Friends community launched the 30-Day MENtal Health Challenge, aiming to raise £4,213 - one pound for every man who died by suicide in England last year.

So far, the group has raised £1,600, with donations continuing to grow.

Turning Conversation Into Action

Every day throughout November, participants have taken on two challenges: one “hard” and one “soft” (see image calendar). Ice baths, cold-water dips and late-night resilience tasks have been paired with more vulnerable acts, such as buying flowers for another man.

“Unsurprisingly, the physical challenges haven’t been the hardest,” Ben says. “It’s the acts of affection and vulnerability between men that feel uncomfortable - and that tells us something important. Connection is the missing piece.”

Funds from the challenge will support Resilient Lives CIC and its Dough Bros project in South Devon - a simple but effective initiative that encourages men to talk while making pizzas together.

Interview With Coach Ben: Why Men Need Friends More Than Ever

Q: What inspired the creation of Invested Friends?

Ben: Loads of grown men tell me in private that they are struggling with friendship. On the other side of that coin, I have wives and girlfriends explaining the pressure they feel to be their partner's only best friend, therapist, lover, emotional support, and motivator. This combination makes many relationships unsustainable and risks possible breakup. Invested Friends solves these problems whilst also improving one's health, wealth, and happiness. Friendship, when done right, is a lifelong investment that costs you nothing, which is rare in this world.

Q: What does the research say about male friendship and health?

Ben: Most people don’t realise this, but friendship improves your health and reduces your risk of death more than diet, sleep or exercise. Yet it’s the thing men neglect the most.

Q: What exactly does Invested Friends offer?

Ben: We’re a growing Devon community running real-world events, workshops and challenges designed to help men create actual, meaningful friendships. From sauna and ice-bath meetups to dog-walk-and-dip sessions and wellness events in the UK and abroad, everything we do centres around connection.

Q: How have men responded to this month’s challenges?

Ben: The camaraderie has been incredible. And the takeaway is clear: men want connection, they just need spaces that allow it.

How the South Hams community get involved?

“Friendship is the biggest investment men aren’t making and it may be the most important one of all,” says Ben.

With International Men’s Day marking a moment for reflection and action, Ben invites the public to support the challenge and help tackle male loneliness and suicide.

To learn more or donate to the 30-Day MENtal Health Challenge, visit the Coach Ben website:

• coachben.me

If this has resonated with you and you’d like to be involved with Invested Friends then please do contact Ben. Reaching out is the first step to helping yourself and others.